Out here in the American Political Wilderness we’ve often mourned the excesses of cancel culture. Over the last five or six years people’s careers and even lives have been destroyed over what in retrospect were minor transgressions. We lamented the fact that both sides of the political aisle seemed to have lost the essential human ability to forgive.
The fever may have broken.
Two weekends ago someone called Harrison Butker, who apparently is the starting kicker for the Kansas City Chiefs, said something stupid. Actually, he said a lot of stupid somethings. Giving the commencement address at Benedictine College he took shots at LGBTQ people, pro-choice Americans, unmarried cohabiting couples, and non-Christians, among others. However, the remarks that garnered the most attention from the chattering class were directed at female graduates. He said, “How many of you are sitting here now, about to cross this stage, and are thinking about all the promotions and titles you are going to get in your career? Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world. But I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world.”
To be sure, Butker’s comments were retrograde in the extreme. Elsewhere in the speech he essentially said that his own wife’s value in life is that she helps him be a better man and football player. He said that men “set the culture” in this country, which even 100 years ago would have been a pretty moronic statement. He was also tone deaf. A college graduation ceremony is a peculiar place to question young women’s career ambitions. And make no mistake: Butker’s personal appearance exudes Creepy Privileged White Guy. He gives off serious American Psycho vibes.
But a mere ten days later the story already seems to have run its course: A bunch of people posted a bunch of stuff about the speech on social media and a few talking heads got a few minutes of airtime out of it. The NFL made some scratch selling a boatload of Butker jerseys in the last four days, while about 215,000 people signed a petition demanding the Chiefs fire their kicker. The NFL did distance itself from Butker’s comments (while happily profiting from them), as did the college. Other Catholic leaders also have condemned the speech.
However, a curious thing happened simultaneously: Butker kept his job, and most likely will. No less than Whoopi Goldberg defended his right to say what he said, as have a number of sports broadcasters. It was just a couple of years ago when people were getting canceled for making ill-advised jokes in private settings. This guy gave a 30 minute public speech in which he came down on the wrong side of virtually every major issue of our day, from abortion to COVID-19 – and apparently he’s going to survive. He has not been disinvited from the traditional White House ceremony welcoming the Super Bowl champions.
All of which I find reassuring. The fact that people aren’t screaming for Butker’s scalp (aside from the online petition, which is next to meaningless) suggests that we’ve exited the extremes of the late 2010s and early 2020s cancel culture. Some of his teammates have spoken in his defense. Meanwhile, Al Franken is back doing standup, and some people have even started calling for Louis C.K. to be given a second chance.
I find it reassuring that collective outrage is again settling on the right kinds of targets. Butker’s comments will be all but forgotten and comedians are finding forgiveness. In contrast, rapper Sean “Diddy” Combs’s career is almost assuredly over in the wake of the release of a 2016 hotel surveillance video showing him savagely attacking his girlfriend, punching, kicking, and dragging her down the hallway by her hair. We have rediscovered the difference between a young man who says stupid things about women and a man who violently beats a woman.
On the left, a moron. On the right, a monster.
If there’s a potential lasting negative about Butker’s viral speech it’s that there were kernels of truth buried amidst the linguistic detritus. At one point he noted that the absence of fathers in households is a prime contributor to violent crime. Studies and research back up this assertion. And his overarching point that family is more important to happiness than career likewise is well-founded. Unfortunately, these important truths will get lost in the sturm und drang surrounding his other remarks.
At the same time, some of the criticism of Butker has itself gone off the rails. The Oblivious to Irony award goes to, appropriately, Pearl Jam frontman – beg pardon, frontperson – Eddie Vedder. During a concert at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas over the weekend he told the audience that Butker looked like a “f***ing p***y” as he gave his speech.
Hence the award: Vedder used one of the most misogynistic slurs in the English language to mock the masculinity of someone he disagrees with about gender issues. You cannot make this stuff up. Vedder made his fame and fortune in the late 1990s and early 2000s sausage fest known as grunge, one of the most aggressively masculine genres in music. A 2017 Rolling Stone reader poll of the best grunge bands did not feature a single female group. Vedder’s own list of favorite albums doesn’t include any women, either. He once penned a saccharine number called “Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town” (really) which is about a woman whose life is a pathetic shambles because she never found a man. The song includes the lyrics, “All these changes taking place/I wish I’d seen the place/But no one’s ever taken me.” Pretty Butker-esque. But hey, Eddie did once scrawl “pro choice” on his forearm with a Sharpie during a drunken performance on MTV. So, you know, feminism.
Vedder is typical of a certain type of person from his and my generation: Earnest, sanctimonious, and skin deep. Male cultural figures like him were among the folks who dragged the country into the darkest depths of cancel culture, even as they continued benefiting from their own, often extreme, male privilege. It’s easy to call yourself a feminist when you don’t have to compete with women. The fact that his beef with Butker ended in a draw is an excellent sign for the future.
Butker is 28. Over the last two decades people’s 20’s have become extensions of adolescence. This guy has a lot of living and learning to do, and hopefully this episode will lead to some self-reflection on his part. It’s one thing to celebrate family, it’s something very different to question women’s goals and ambitions outside the home.
For the rest of us, the takeaway from this cultural hiccup is that this is still America, and people like Butker and Vedder have the right to make complete asses of themselves in front of millions of people. Let’s hope that version of our country is back for good.
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